An Interesting Lesson on Tragedy

The day after having, what felt like, my life turned upside down in this city yet again, I had an enlightening conversation with a coordinator in my department. I went down to ask about some paper work, but Tom and I soon found ourselves deep in conversation about what is (apparently) becoming my epic story of growth. It may have started with him asking how I was, and me responding with tears because, well, there were no words. In life, when you feel like there is no way describe how you are feeling and the only way you can express your anguish is through tears, doing it in front of departmental administration is probably not the most ideal situation. In my case, however, Tom was a gracious consoler and he gave me a very important lesson on tragedy.

Once I had calmed down enough to explain that my wallet had been stolen the day before, from a rare place where I feel safe and happy in this city, we started talking about my experience in Montreal beyond that of academia. It turns out that Tom had had a very negative experience himself in another city - for 10 years! And here I thought 2.5 years was bad. He told me he came to accept that every city has an energy and either you connect with it or you don't. So Montreal and I just haven't connected. It sort of makes it all seem so simple, and yet, I will probably hold these negative emotions for life. Not true, says Tom. An interesting fact about tragedy is that with time, it suddenly becomes quite funny. Tom had taken the negative experience he had and turned it into something positive: stand up comedy. Not as a profession, but as a hobby that makes him feel better about the dark cloud that hangs over that period in his life. It got me thinking: will I ever be able to, one day, talk about this experience without the anxiety it provokes at this moment in my life? Well, it has now been almost 3 years since the day I moved here. And boy what a day it was ...

Early January 2009. I move to Montreal with big city dreams. And with that comes big city apartments. Dirty, disgusting, big city apartments. After spending hours scrubbing the bathroom, I notice it's snowing. Really, really snowing. I'm new to town; I don't know the parking rules, so I go online and look up the situation with snow. There are no rules against parking on the street while it is snowing. Awesome! So I go down to shovel my car out. The plow has already gone by and there is snow up to the door handles. I only have a mini shovel in case the car gets stuck and have to dig my tires out, so it takes me over an hour and a half to shovel all the snow away from my car. The temperature never went above 0 degrees that entire month. I'm pretty sure that day was -20. But it's ok! I just moved to a new city and I'm pretty excited.

Back to cleaning. After soaking the parts of my stove in Easy-Off for a day, it's finally sparkling. And I'm starving. What would be great? Anything at this point. But low and behold, in my glorious attempt to make the appliance look appealing, I have somehow broken it. I take the elements out and put them back. Nothing. I check the fuses: all functional. I check the fuse box: nothing blown. I check the plug: still attached. The lights will go on, but the heat is not coming. I call the landlord. He reports that the appliance is not his; it belongs to the guy who I am subletting from. Wait .. what? Who rents a place and doesn't provide the appliances? And more so, who moves their appliances from rental to rental?! And finally, you mean I have to call the guy who lives in New York City to ask him what to do with the stove? Forget it. I'll go out.

I live a block from the metro, I decide that while I'm out, I might as well buy my transit pass and stop by the bank to deposit my rent. Apparently you can only buy student bus passes at certain stations. And you can't buy a single ride with a debit card. Fine, I'll walk to the bank. On the map it was only 6 blocks. Well, Montreal has ridiculous business hours and that bank was closed. Yup, closed. Some guy tells me the closest one is just a few blocks further. 10 blocks later, I deposit the cheque and start my walk home. Reminder, it's still -20 out. And I moved from a warmer part of the country where anything below -10 is the apocalypse and thus, I am dressed inappropriately.

So. I have money. I have eaten. I have a couple meetings on campus. I go all the way downtown and am appalled at the way Montreal keeps their sidewalks. They don't shovel them and they sure don't salt them! After a few close encounters and I find my way to one of my supervisor's offices to let him know I have arrived in the city. He takes me to my other supervisor's office to say hello. 'Here is our new masters student!' he says. Pause. Response: 'Ughhh, we have a new masters student?' Great. This already looks promising. Next, I spend 40 minutes walking up and down Sherbrooke street to find the admin building whose address is on the street, yet they are located inside campus, no where near the street. Fail. Finally, I attend a super long, boring graduate student orientation where they tell you not to plagiarise for 2 hours and add a 'welcome to the university!' at the end. Fun times. At this point I'm exhausted and just want to get home. But not before slipping on the unsalted sidewalk while walking downhill, only to land in a pile of slush. It was totally the way they do it in the movies, where you go 'woop! woop! woop! bam!'. I even sat there for a few moments like a turtle on its back with my giant backpack under me. The best part of it all? My soaking wet pants were frozen by the time I made it to the metro. Epic fail.

Meanwhile, just to add insult to injury, they had posted no parking signs for snow removal during the day while I was cleaning, and by the time I got home, my car had been towed. And this, my friends, was my lovely welcome to Montreal.

But the time I finished this story in his office, I had Tom howling with laughter. What was interesting was that I too was giggling. Was it true that, with time, such a horrible day could transform into something entertaining? All of it now seems quite surreal, and yet this is just the tip of the iceberg. I decide that Tom is right, and that this has probably been the most enlightening conversation I have had regarding positive attitudes and negative experiences in cities that you just don’t connect with. So for anyone that is going through something that just seems never ending, or couldn’t possibly end well, just remember this one equation. I know that from that day in Tom’s office until now, it has really been a stronghold for me and has pushed me through the last few months.

Tragedy + Time = Comedy

And no matter how dark it seems right now, one day, you will laugh about it!  ☺